I had just been working with my client, debunking her life-long association between rest and laziness, when she said: “People have told me that forever, my MOTHER has told me that…but when you say it, I really hear it.”
Do you know why she heard it? Because I’m NOT her mother.
I’m her coach.
Why would the same words she’s heard from others sound different when coming from me? Because she could hear them without suspecting bias or ulterior motives from the deliverer of the message (me).
That’s the beauty of having a coach. You choose to bring a neutral party into the equation (your life).
Truth be told, I do have an agenda. YOUR agenda. I want for you what you want for you.
Am I attached to you getting what you say you want? In a way yes, and in a way no.
I am attached in a way because you hire me to help you get what you want. That means when you start to argue for your limitations, I don’t accept them. When you start to doubt your ability, I hold your vision for you even when you can't. When you start to spew BS, I call BS (then we laugh).
I’m not attached in a way because coaching is a partnership. I respect my clients’ right to decide what’s right for them, not to become an automaton and do everything I suggest. I respect the process more than the desired end result. The learning along the way to the goal is often much more valuable that the goal itself.
One of my favorite quotes came just a few weeks ago, “I came to you to do X, but I left with so many things I didn’t even know I needed.”
That’s the power of coaching. You get to bring your life out into the light. We look at it together and through the process, discover things more beautiful than we’d imagined.
Kinda like adding light to a prism.