The Expectation Experiment

Written By Laura Dewey

Expectations can really wear on you, sapping your energy and dimming your Spirit. As we head into the month ahead, I encourage you to experiment by looking at the expectations that are present in your life. Is there an opportunity to reevaluate any of them?

We’ll look at the places expectations come from and what makes it challenging to question or release them.

Expectations tend to come from these 4 areas:

  • Your employer

  • Others

  • Society

  • Yourself

From your employer:

Living up to work-generated expectations is often necessary as a condition of your employment with little room for variation. That’s not always the case, however. In many cases, especially as you climb higher into leadership, you can amend an expectation or deadline to better work for you.. IF you’re willing to respectfully push back. 

This can be challenging if you’re concerned with looking less-than by doing so or if you have a need to constantly prove yourself.

From others (including family):

These, too, can be amended if you are willing to set healthy boundaries. Do you need to say yes to every family obligation? Instead of assuming “it all” falls on you, can you ask for help in a calm, neutral way? Do you need to buy into the expectation at all? Consider the source. 

This can be challenging if you’re afraid to upset or disappoint others. 

From society:

I strongly encourage you to reevaluate these. How much inner stress or struggle could be lifted if you didn’t worry about what the Jones’ are doing or what a post says you “should” be doing. What would it be like if you didn’t feel behind or off the mark all the time?

This can be challenging if the thought of being yourself in the world leaves you feeling vulnerable and exposed.  

From yourself: 

Self-imposed expectations can be the worst of all…AND they’re the most amendable. These are expectations you’ve set for yourself that live only in your mind. Taking the project to 130% instead of 99%, deadlines that push you and your team unnecessarily, needing every dish in the house clean every single night before bed…you know the drill. Those darned things. Experiment loosening the reins on those and see what happens. Likely no one will notice (except you :-).

This can be challenging if you are a high-achiever, fear failure or feel you need to constantly prove yourself 

As you look at each area, consider the cost of keeping the expectation as is to you, your family, your health, your peace of mind, etc. 

This is your one life and you absolutely have a say in how you lead it. 

Laura Dewey